Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Asians are obsessed with your mother's pussy

Let me repeat the title: we Asians are obsessed with your mother's pussy. Yes, it's true, your mother!

Think about it. Anytime you get pissed, things don't turn out like you want, or you meet some jerk, what do you say? (We'll stick with Asian languages, to help preserve our culture) Machibai. Pukimak, KNNCCB (fuck your mother's pussy, or something like that). The few most common swear words used in Malaysia, but only because we outnumber the Indians.

Is the pussy so sacred, just saying it is offensive? I was saying pukimak since I was a kid, without knowing what it means, but I love the look adult's get when I say it.

Oh, and let me bring you down my memory lane for awhile for no good reason. Like everyone, I found out about the functions of our ehem-ehem's via friends, and, uhm, documentaries. But besides finding out about the recreational functions (like writing your name with your pee...), I also finally found out where I came out from: the pussy.

Now that was important for me, because if not, I'd still believe my mum's story (This is true, by the way. Me believing it, not the story, you dolt). When I asked my mum where I came out from, she didn't tell me the stork story. Instead, she told me......

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are you ready for this?

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Now take a deep breath, and sip your drink.

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She told me that she CRAPPED ME OUT.

Just like that. She was doing her business, she got up, turned to flush, then hey, guess what I found in the toilet bowl today, honey. I thought, "Hey, no wonder I'm brown." Which, for awhile, made me wonder if Chinese people had yellow crap.

Hey, I was 5, cut me some slack. And my mum was nearly correct too, by the way. She was only 2 inches off.

Ok, now back to cussing.

You see, Asians, we're too obvious when we're cussing. All we ever do is point out your mother's pussy. Why can't we emulate the Americans? They get pissed, they shout MOTHERFUCKER!

They don't just say your mother's got a pussy. They know you know your mother's got a smelly pussy (how do they know? Hell, even I don't know. Do you have a habit of smelling my mum's pussy? Ewww, you're gross). They imply it, subtly. They're saying: "We both know your mum's got a pussy, and it's smelly, and we're gonna make you FUCK IT!"

Where's our manners, people? Be more subtle next time!

4 Comments:

Blogger minishorts said...

I Beg to differ, we now say KNNCB... which means the 'fuck your mother' shit... hahaha

btw you need to activate some spam busters lah.

4:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is a link between AfricanAmericans and Hokkiens in Malaysia. They both motherfuckers. POOL BOR = MOTHERFUCKER

6:09 PM  
Blogger Jackie said...

Your mum just kills. I mean the crapping you out part. Classic.

9:59 AM  
Blogger Captain Carcinogen said...

minishorts: woops. ignorant on cussing, i am

jackie: i know. i still have nightmares of my mum accidentally flushing me down...

4:24 PM  

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