Sunday, June 26, 2005

Old friends and bachelor pads

Went up to meet an old friend, Z, last night. In fact, still meeting him. This is currently written from his computer while the dude's passed out on the bed. I don't remember us taking anything that strong last night...

Wanted to have breakfast, but was too lazy to make the 10 minute walk to the mamak stall. But, heck, who cares? I'm sure everybody knows the nutritional values of 5 cigarettes and a glass of wine in the morning right?

I'm staying over at his place, because my place happens to be at the other end of Klang Valley and the ERL's closed, at what? 12? Even if it was open, there's no train back to my place, and trust me, there really is nothing to do at KL Sentral.

Z's living in those smart apartments in Cyberjaya, where you get your own server with your apartment, and all kinds of alarms, where lights and sounds will alert you when something important happens, like your cute neighbour opposite you is walking around in her underwear. Or a thief is trying to break in. But if they both happened at the same time, I'm sure you know which one's more important, right? Right?

Z's apartment was the typical bachelor pad, you know the kind. Shoes near the door arranged like tea leaves in a cup, a football in the living room despite everybody being kaki bangku, and a mountain of trash that was one day away from being able to emit gamma rays. I wonder how long is the half-life for his piles of takeaway...

On the door to his room there was a sign that said, "No panties allowed beyond this point."

And I thought that sucked, because I happened to be wearing my best Triumph's that day. :
Thankfully, there's nothing that barring me from wearing my Manolo's though...

Talking about panties, does anyone ever notice how a woman's undergarment ALWAYS had this hot model wearing the garment? I thought that was a good marketing idea by these companies, because when you buy it, you get one for the wife, and two for the husband :D.

Anyway, like all meetings with old friends, there's the usual reminiscing of the good old school days. Z was bitching about how sad it was no teacher's really remembered him, and I thought that was a good opportunity to make fun of him...

CC: Well, probably with you being so thin, and how you always sat sideways in class, even if you had an erection he'll only see a thin outline of your nose. So, of course he can't remember you.

Z: Motherfucker.

CC: Maybe next time you should sit facing ahead, with your arms outstretched, a flare in each hand, then do a wave...

Z: Oh, shut up, bitch.

Hahaha. It's always fun being with close friends like that, making penis jokes and just exchanging insults.

I always wonder sometimes if girls say things like these too when they're with their close friends.

"My god! Your ass is so toned! I nearly didn't notice your cellulite!"

So, really, do you girls do that? The Captain's wondering...

By the way, I needed to take a pee, and, damn, when I entered the toilet, was I freaked out. Can you believe the size of his toilet? It's bigger than my room! My room! And my toilet is the size of my shoe rack. I sometimes accidentally pressed the flush lever when I pee. And my hands were in my pocket!

Now, this dude's toilet was huge. His toilet bowl was all the way to the end of the toilet. You can see the earth's curve from the toilet door. I had to do some stretchings and warm up just to take a leak. It's the equator here, the tempeture's warm all year round, but when you reach the toilet bowl it's autumn! Autumn!

Ok, shit, gotta go, now I'm really hungry. Going for a pee really taxed me out. I can feel the burn in my quadriceps already.

You guys be good now.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Alex (Life @ Seven) said...

yes its me the owner of that toilet.. i know it's huge Capt. thats why i parked that buggy next to the door. easier to move around the toilet that way. anyway about the petrol for the buggy, just turn left and drive for like 5 minutes and you'll be at the NEAREST petrol station. oh yeah actually if you venture further into the toilet you'll find another toilet bowl that flushes counter-clockwise(the first flushes clockwise direction). when you gonna come again huh? since my toilet is damn big i let you sleep there la.

ey got that 7-angle picture from Elaine yet ah? she damn hot mang!! my eyes are still popping and nose still bleeding.

11:14 AM  
Blogger Captain Carcinogen said...

dude, i was kidding! kiiiidddinnnggg...sweet jah

2:47 PM  
Anonymous Alex (Life @ Seven) said...

yea i was kidding too
bangga ma got big ass toilet.. i should bring my pc in too can blog on the go

9:30 PM  
Blogger Captain Carcinogen said...

sheesh...cmonlah, its not that huge. even if u get lost, u just have to follow the traces of dead animals

11:37 PM  

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