Saturday, February 05, 2005

So you looking for an apartment?

The owners of my apartment, these two woman came by today, bringing with them a couple who are prospective tenants.

They gave them a look around the apartment, and I was hoping I could show the prospective tenants around by myself.

"Yes, if you would step in the kitchen, you can see the greasy counter top and that ventilator thing over the stove that I accidentally burnt.

And that's the couch. Yes, that old, worn out one with cushions that looked like they just exploded. It used to be blue. Anyway, my cats have scratched all over the sides of the couch, leaving chic, tasteful claw marks all over it, and there's this musty, pungent odour over it, to give it that old, repugnant couch feel.

And if you would step out here into the balcony, you can have a nice view of the better apartments next door. Oh, sometimes there's this psycho on that opposite apartment on the 4th floor who uses a telescope to peer in here. It's ok, just keep your curtains closed. And I didn't pick these peppermint green curtains, ok? It was here all along. If it was up to me, it'd be midnight blue."

Before they left, the owners gave me the overdue bills my dad hasn't paid. I looked over it and said, "Rent plus bills plus electricity...Damn, 5100? Looks like I got to leave this country soon."

"What?" said one of them.

"Oh, no, nothing."

After they were given a spin around the apartment, the owners told me there'll be another one coming later. They looked at the clock. It showed 6.30 p.m "Anytime now," they told me.

They then went outside the apartment to wait for the prospective tenants.

After about half an hour, they still haven't arrived, and I'm about to go out, so I just decided to leave the door unlocked; they'll know what to do.

Outside, I saw them still waiting for the other prospective tenants. Any chance they coming before Chinese New Year, 2006?

I asked them, and they told me the prospective tenant's still aren't here yet. I decided to kid them a little, so I said, "Oh, wait, you can't show them the attic; that's where I keep the dead bodies."

They bursted out laughing.

"Nah, just kidding," I told them, "there's just a lot of books strewn around."

Anyway, with all the books I own, I can't afford to pick fights with arsonists; I'm such an easy target.


Blogger saRah said...

my siblings target my books everytime they're mad at me :/


5:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You got an attic in your apartment? Wow, I wish mine did.

12:42 PM  
Blogger CaliValleyGirl said...

You are seriously funny...and your rant about religion also rocked...

5:57 PM  

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