Monday, January 31, 2005

Of commercials with tongkat ali and clowns

I have to wonder about the new Power Root tongkat ali commercial. They have Anuar Zain and Zahid promoting it, like it was some kind of new shoe or something.

And then, for no apparent reason, Zahid, along with some back-up dancers (all decked in orange clothes, of course) start to do a dance.

Excuse me??? Is there some kind of hidden meaning here? Are they trying to tell me something?

"We can't help it! We're so glad to have an erection!"

In fact, if they played a song in the background that went, "If you have an erection and you know it, move your feet," I will not be surprised.

Or does it make your blood rush throughout your body, you start to feel some other body stiffening into an erection, you have to move it to make sure your joints aren't locked? Shouldn't there be a sign, at least in unreadeble small print that goes, "May cause erection in other undesired body parts"?

Because, can you imagine, one day you're lining up, maybe at the bank or something, and then some dude behind you, who happened to down a couple cans of tongkat ali, suddenly pokes you with some stiff object?

You turn around, you see a guy trying to balance himself on one leg like a ballerina while the other leg's stiff and sticking straight out at you.

"Hey, sorry man, the blood went the wrong way!"

Of course, when that happens, you should only thank god it was a leg. It could've been worse. The thing that poked you might have been something with no bendable joints and doesn't branch out at the end.

Then there's that Nokia commercial with the clowns. If you don't know, it's the one where there's that guy who's sitting around bored and then these clowns parachute down to where he's at and start to do, erm, clowny stuff and supposedly entertain him.

Now I don't know about you, but if I were sitting around minding my own business and then these clowns parachute down to where I'm at and start to run around me, I'll be FUCKING TERRIFIED.

What were they thinking? Keeping tabs on me and then AMBUSHING me when I'm ALONE.

I won't go, "Hahahaha!" when I see them. I'd go, "Holy fuck! You're FOLLOWING ME! SOMEONE HELP!" then pick up the biggest stick I can find and beat them senseless.

And the most ridiculous ad to me, of course, is the "Beautiful Woman" ad, a cream that supposedly, if rubbed constantly, and vigorously enough...ok, just constantly, will give you bigger ya-ya's.

Then comes in this well endowed woman in the chest department, wearing a bra, and she starts to jump around, apparently in glee, her breasts bouncing up and down. Now can you imagine the kind of message she is sending out to all the women out there?

"Look people! My breasts are big and bouncy! When I jog they slap me in the face and the knees! But that's ok! Because I'm beautiful!"


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